THE LIVING ROOM SERIES: #1

Once upon a time, some goddamn genius was designing the SUU student center. And he thought, "Well now, the majority of these freaks probably can't even afford a couch, some may even be homeless. So I'll just make a clown room full of a hodge-podge-hobo-bought-and-eclectic combination of couches." He was an inspired man.

To fully introduce you to this magically fabulous room, I'll go further. There are the popsicle blue couches, mustard yellow couches, and musky scarlet couches, with mustard yellow polka-dots. Some are love seats, some 3 seat-ers, and others cozy armchairs.

Considering the hobo lifestyle I maintained all year, it isn't surprising that this place was my second home. In this home away from home, I encountered many strange, interesting, and sometimes frightening human beings.

In this first account of The Living Room Series, I bring you AWKWARD FLIRTATION FAILS.

Unfortunately my place of study and chill is frequently interrupted by random humans coming in and out, often doing the odd things generally expected of the young twenty-somethings trying to survive college. Things like yelling friends' names in greeting, (equivalent of the level at a junior high pep assembly where the one kid gets up and people want other people to know they know him..), talking in weird hushed voices, consoling some sobbing post-break up friend, or y'know the kids watching anime and eating sour punch straws.

But my personal favorite are the awkward flirting fails.

Today was another case of the weird "hey lets move from group project acquaintances to *eyebrows* something more..."

This poor fellow was floundering for an opening of any kind in their strained conversation of biology project logistics, (which believe it or not he made last longer than 5 whole minutes) in an effort to win this semi-super model looking girl's heart.

Sadly the poor wretch got handed the look most often given to floundering men in such cases-- the look of "oh honey, love; you is kind, you is smart, you is important, but you is not for me." and she unpeeled herself both from the yellow sofa and his unyielding, hopeful stare saying "well, see you at the blah blah time for the blah blah project." with the body language of the  *and exlusively only under those circumstances*

Ah well old chap, better luck next time. As for a positive thought, you at least gave me a chuckle amidst my readings of the spanish inquisition.